Most of us feel a personal responsibility for reducing woman abuse... and recognizing it is the first step. What are the warning signs and what can you do to help your neighbour, friend, co-worker or family member?
Neighbours, Friends and Families is a campaign to raise awareness of the signs of woman abuse so that people who are close to an at-risk woman or an abusive man can help.
Everyone in the community has a role to play in helping to prevent woman abuse.
Are you concerned about someone you think is being abused, but don’t know what to do?
He puts her down
He does all the talking and dominates the conversation
He checks up on her all the time, even at work
He tries to suggest he is the victim and acts depressed
He tries to keep her away from you
He acts as if he owns her
He lies to make himself look good or exaggerates his good qualities
He acts like he is superior and of more value than others in his home
He watches her actions, listens to her phone conversations, reads her emails
She is apologetic and makes excuses for his behaviour or she becomes aggressive and angry
She is nervous talking when he’s there
She seems to be sick more often and misses work
She tries to cover her bruises
She makes excuses at the last minute about why she can’t meet you
She tries to avoid you on the street
She seems sad, lonely, withdrawn and is afraid
She uses more drugs or alcohol to cope
She has unexplained injuries
- Talk to her about what you see and assure her that you are concerned, you believe her and that it is not her fault.
- Encourage her not to confront her partner if she is planning to leave. Her safety must be protected.
- Offer to provide childcare while she seeks help.
- Offer your home as a safe haven to her, her children and pets. If she accepts your offer, do not let her partner in.
- Encourage her to pack a small bag with important items and keep it stored at your home in case she needs it.
- Know that you or she can call Family Transition Place, or, in an emergency, the police.
- Assure her she can talk to you any time.
- Don’t become angry or frustrated with her decisions. It is important to understand that she may be afraid or not ready to take the next steps.
- Try to understand why she might be having difficulty getting help. She may feel ashamed.
- Offer to go with her if she needs additional information or support.
- If she has children, let her know gently that you are concerned about her and her children’s safety and emotional well-being. She may be more willing to recognize her situation if she recognizes her children may also be in danger.
- Tell someone you trust about the abuse.
- Gather important documents: all personal identification,financial and legal papers, house deed/lease, address book, medication and money/credit cards.
- Put together valued pictures, jewellery and objects of sentimental value, as well as toys and comforts for your children.
- Carry a photo of the abuser and your children with you.
- Contact Family Transition Place. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.
- Consult a lawyer. Keep any evidence of physical abuse (such as photos). Keep a journal of all violent incidents, noting dates, events, and threats and witnesses.
- Make sure your children’s school or day care centre is aware of the situation and has copies of all relevant documents.
- Do not tell the abuser you are leaving. Leave quickly.
- Do not return to your home, unless accompanied by police.
- Never confront the abuser.
Caledon-Dufferin Victim Services
www.cal-dufvictimservices.ca
Dufferin Child and Family Services
www.dcafs.on.ca
Family Transition Place
www.familytransitionplace.ca
Headwaters Health Care Centre
www.headwatershealth.ca
Orangeville Police Service
www.orangevillepolice.ca
Shelburne Police Service
www.shelburnepolice.com
To book a community information presentation for your group, volunteer to be an NFF Champion, or obtain further information on the Dufferin/Caledon campaign, call 519-941-4357 or
905-584-4357 or email nff@familytransitionplace.ca
Ontario-wide Neighbours, Friends and Families campaign can be found by visiting their web site at www.neighboursfriendsandfamilies.on.ca
The NFF campaign is a partnership between the Ontario government, Ontario Women’s Directorate and the Expert Panel on Neighbours, Friends and Families,
through the Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children.
Funding for the Dufferin/Caledon NFF Project is provided by the Government of Ontario, Ministry of the Attorney General, Ontario Victim Services Secretariat Community Grants Program. The views and opinions expressed in this web site do not necessarily reflect those of the Government of Ontario.